Friday, October 2, 2009

I swear I'm playing against bots

I can always count on low limit holdem to frustrate the shit out of me. First, let's analyze that statement. Shit never comes out when you are frustrated, hence constipation, so what I wrote earlier, strike that, and read this. I can always count on low limit holdem to frustrate me...

There good sentence structure. Now, as I was saying. Low limit holdem, and I talking nickel and dime here folks, literally, I sit there playing for hours cause it keeps the game honest and what happens? Anyone care to venture a guess, that doesn't have me winning in any situation? Anyone, come on I know someone is out there?

No one? Fine, I will say it, these mother fuckers on the low limit tables play like absolute shit. Calling with any two they sit there chasing and chasing and wait, here's the best part, they fucking hit! All the fucking time too! Holy shit, I've never seen anyone turn and river larger full houses or quads more in all the time I have played poker, then my stint online. It's unparallelled really. I seriously think I was playing against robots who know what will be coming on the turn and river when they call...



Moral: Save your cash, unruly cheats out there, and if they aren't cheating the horse shoe up their ass I hope gets pushed further up by something thicker and more brittle...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The double headed monster

It's got two heads now. Which means twice the flavor. Which means you can theoretically put two of the same flavors into one delicious smoking extravaganza session of hookah! Yes, I am talking about a bowl that has 2 clay pots available to place tobacco into...

You can choose if you want to smoke tangerine dream, or code 69, or both at the same time if you like as this double headed monster will allow for such feats to be tangled with. No greater was an idea such as this. This invention is better than when Nasa came up with Velcro! You all remember that right?

In the darkness of the dreary days ahead of us, the beacon of light can be as if Paul Revere was signaling by land or by water when you choose to light these bad llamas up (see what I did there). In the words of the immortal Gandhi - Hate the sin, love the sinner...



Moral: I say bring it by sea!

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Velcro?

Who remembers the best thing ever created? I still rock Velcro when I can. Also it needs to be capitalized as it was patented by NASA, you know those jolly people who created temperpedic foam...who would think, countless hours of theorizing, calculating and millions upon millions of dollars later we find ourselves given such inventions as these...

The same people who put the first man on the moon, created Velcro and temperpedic memory foam. Am-fucking-azing people! No wonder the space program is being shut down. These mother fuckers are sitting there finding a better solution to duct tape and how to get a good nights sleep...

Don't get it confused folks, I love Velcro, but did we really dump that much money into a space program for that? What has gotten into space bought us anyway? Has all that money we've put into it really gotten us ahead of the game. Remember sputnik? I mean these questions my friends and I discussed at our round table as we hung out with Tom Cruise discussing Scientology, so we already have the answers...but i just want your take on it...



Moral: When in doubt, order a quad con panna and see what sorts of back roads your mind starts taking off the caffiene high

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cake?

As many deep thoughts and conversations are had between my friends and I, this one was very true. King Tom Popcorn (KTP) and I were discussing the royal inheritance of having your cake and eating it too. This discussion was brought on with discussions of dating with-in/out of one's social stature and for the moment I will stick to
the final statement that KTP decided to correct for the world now to read...

For one to have their cake and eat it too is completely possible, as KTP put it. First you have your cake, you go to the store and purchase it and therefore you now possess the cake. It is in your possession to do what you will with it and thereby as a byproduct now have it.

KTP then put it in perspective. It shouldn't be, have your cake and eat it too...it should be “you can't eat your cake and have it too”, as one distinctly comes after the other. After you have eaten your cake you can no longer have it, as it has been devoured, by you yougreedy as pig...



Moral: Don't eat your cake if you want to have it...

Keep dancin'

Monday, September 28, 2009

Prive VIP

My friends have gotten together and formed something spectacular. Prive VIP, pronounced PREE-vay V.I.P, is what they go by. The word is French in origin which means exclusivity, and the reference it to the value of the service they are providing.

They are event consultants for numerous venues and they provide the entire 9 yards in their service, from advertising, to branding, to marketing and even host charity events. BTW side note - the whole 9 yards - in order to create the perfect suit tailored to one's body a tailor requires 9 yards of cloth, hence the term...the whole 9 yards...

So where can they be found, their website Prive VIP for starters, or you can see them at any number of spots, Estate, 33, Rumor and Bond, just to name you all a few. Personally I have known this group for quite some time now, and for those of you who have partied with me have been hosted by Prive at one point or another. They go out of their way to provide a well deserved no hassle night out in the city of Boston....



Moral: Premier social bliss comes at a small cost with this group

Keep dancin'