Friday, September 25, 2009

I am not amused

Although I should be, I am getting smoked in all my fantasy football leagues. I forgot to place my pick for last weeks survivor pool, which means, well I don't know what it means, but I most likely won't be surviving, and I keep gettin jacked up by random ass positions.

Who's fucking tight end drops 32 points on anyone? Who, huh? Well i haven't heard of a tight end ever doing that but my ass got blasted by a defense a week ago dropping 30 on my face...what the fuck is the deal with that? Why am I always the person who has to play against the juggernaught every week?

For some odd reason the NFL players have it in for me. I feel they conspire and know who plays against me, figures out who is on that team and they play some insane fucking game. At one point this past sunday I was getting smoked a 150 to 67...seriously It's just not fair...



Moral: I should just stick to my fantasy basketball - F8Ck that...the season's still young...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Andes mint choclate chip snacks, or...

Is it the new delicious flavor from the one, the only, starbuzz hookah tobacco. I sit there smoking and smoking this wonderfully delicious blend of tobacco that tastes like the Andes...you know the box of chocolate that comes vertically placed wrapped in green aluminum foil and has like 16 thousand pieces ber box...

Of course you do, and smoking this isn't like a menthol tasting square - it's got serious flavor of chocolate and the mint is so well balanced that it really does taste like those little snacks. I just couldn't get enough so I packed a second hookah and began watching the big lebowski - I know I promised to write about the film but I still feel that you aren't ready for that piece yet...

So what - get to the fuckin point already, right? Right! I'm almot there, just wait for it, wait for it...ok there really was no other point to this than the fact that as I child I used to eat those thin mints til i was sick to my stomach and to this day I will still buy a box from cvs whenever I see fit, and eat my little heart out...



Moral: You can't eat just one...wait isn't that the lays commercial?

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The way men shop

None of this browsing around for what may or may not be available. We just walk in like a tornado and buy anything and everything we have in our heads at the moment and walk right out. The entire process of a man entering a store is almost abrupt - because we get right to the point.

The other day I call up my cousin, he wants to watch football, of course - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MEN DO! And he mentions he's hungry. But he can't leave to go to the store and since I am in my car heading over to his place I offer to go grab a few things. The discussion is as follows:

Dzl: What up cheap cheap?
Sarvosh: Guy! What up guy?
Dzl: Football, you hungry?
Sarvosh: Yeah, what's to eat?
Dzl: Don't know, thoughts?
Sarvosh: Chinese?
Dzl: Nah, Nachos?
Sarvosh: K, i'll get the goods...

Below is a flurry of the 39.4 seconds it took me to walk into, pick up, and self check out of the grocery store that is 4.3 minutes from my cousins place...



Moral: Yeah...snickers ice cream cake...thank me later...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Talk about a late night drive

So I headed over to DC this weekend for a good friend's wedding. J-dubz and I hit the road around 6pm from here and hit traffic on the pike - of course, and reached my boy Manny Fresh's place around 1 in the Am on saturday morning. Well we couldn't just get in and crash now could we? Of course not, so we broke out some CAO's and some J.W. Green Label and went to town...

A few cigars, many cups, and 4 hours later, around 5am after discussing politics, religion, geography and many other points of comedy and drama we decided to hit the sack. Woke up around 11am to hit up a spot called FirstWatch in the Rock and let me tell you this ladies and gents...they made fast food joints look slow.

I ordered the works - which means that everyone guys, everything, and no faster than we ordered was our food in front of us and devoured by 3 Armenians who acted as if they had just ate for the first time in decades. A note to everyone who didn't see what I just did there - if you want to shut an Armenian up, just place food in front of us...



Moral: In order to work, you need grease...

Keep dancin'

Monday, September 21, 2009

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. G

Showtime was 4pm on 9.19.2009 and the stage was set in Maryland for the two birds in love to finally knot the tie. Beautiful weather, somewhere in the 80s, minimal humidty and not a cloud in the sky. You really can't ask for a better day in mid September to have a wedding ceremony. So we head on over from the hotel, park, and walk in just as the ceremony gets underway...

The I-do's are said, the crowns are placed on their heads and they touch foreheads as the traditional wedding says it should. Not long after the rings are placed on respective fingers and the bride and groom make their way down the isle as one only to be invited outside by a traditional band playing clarinet and dumbeg! Talk about gettin the fire smoldering right from the get go...

Head on back to the hotel where the festivities continued into the small hours of the morrow, where drinks were shared, dances were danced, shots were shot and the entertainment (I forget his name - Sorry) got the entire room fired up with his energy getting everyone up, everyone clapping and the whole room shaking...and his mullet was bad ass too...Mr. & Mrs. G I wish you both health, happiness, and many moons with one another - Congratulations to you both and thank you for inviting my sister and I to celebrate your special day with you!



Moral: When in doubt, ask for the mullet - it's business up front & a party in the back...

Keep dancin'