Friday, June 5, 2009

The rythm of the jungle...

The rumba, the samba, the tango, the cha cha...I love it. I can't get enough of it. I walk through the halls with my ear buds plugged listening to house music that keeps me movin' throughout the day. I seriously start bugging out sometimes as I walk. I just can't get enough of all that encompasses house...

I would even be so bold as to say that I will be clubbin forever. FOREVER is a long time Sarvosh...what'll you be doing clubbing for that long? Your friends are all off gettin married and having kids and moving forward with their lives, but you can't let that part of you go? What gives? I'll tell you. It's a part of who I am. If I can't bug out when I want to, where I want to, how I want to, then life just seems a little less sweet...

I mean I was told by a good friend of mine that if I was to be clubbin forever then he wouldn't hang out with me...and I can't have that, so maybe not forever...forever - 1 would work...I'll get everything else I want that last day I got on this lovely planet that I call home...may even start with strapping up a chute and jumping out of a plane...maybe...I'll be the one on the back



Moral: Sarg says - grab life by the horns and suck the fuckin marrow out of it!

Keep dancin' or divin'

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Play it cool...

Play the fuckin hop, will ya?! It's classic. Growing up I was always scheming games to play with the least amount of tools available. I would come up with random games to play because my dad wasn't around and all my family members were working or studying or both. So I would do the usual devilish things...

Tearing the heads off my sister's barbie dolls and hiding the body parts in different corners of the house was a favorite of mine. I felt like I was taking other's treasures, which I was, and like a pirate, burying it around the world. I tried digging to china in the backyard of my grade school. I didn't enjoy studying as much as getting to the other side of the world. And I would bring playboys to school...

No joke, I got suspended (vacation), but I played it cool in front of the judge when she asked what in God's name I was doing by bringing in the nudy mags to music class. I just stared blankly back and replied - I didn't know I couldn't do that. BUT I DID KNOW!!! HAHAHA So you're wondering right now, grade school? Yeah suckas, 3rd grade music class back row giggling like a school boy looking at porno mags...wait, that's exactly what it was. I know I'm not the first, and definitely won't be the last...but I felt like a pioneer at the time...



Moral: You're wondering where I got them...that secret I take to the grave!

Keep dancin' or peepin' :-P

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm lovin' it

I used to eat them by the 6-pack. No joke. You all remember the buy one get one free marketing scheme they had. It was delightful. The thousand island dressing. Those two all beef patties (or so you think). The slice of lettuce and tomato. The double decker man! None-other-than The BIG MIZZAAAACC!!!! The fucking Big Mac sucka!

I used to take down two-liters at a time. Before Farva asked for the liter I was taking down two. Before they were syrup racing, I was double patty mac-in it! I was putting back big mac's like it was no one's business, because you know what, it wasn't any one's business but my own. It was my Achilles heal! I couldn't not go for a mac when the craving called. Definitely a short coming before I turned greasy!

But Sarvosh - you're asking yourself - the big mac is greasy?! Right?? WRONG!!!! Plastic is not greasy! Fucking flies won't go near them! Seriously if a bug that flies around from pile of shit to pile of shit to get his nutrients, and won't go near one of those burgers that's gotta send off some warning signals in your head. So what do I eat now? Slices and slices of cherry pie! Cause pie is always greasy!!! Especially the cherry kind...



Moral: If whatever you're eating causes your plumbing to get backed up, eat some grease to let it all slide out...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

If it doesn't work on VLC

Well it's all just fucked up in a convoluted way. I bought the dvd Reservoir dogs from Target. Of course, I hit up the discount section. I can't not walk into Target and walk by that 5 to 10 dollar wall. Almost anything in the 5 dollar bin will be picked up if I don't have it and anything that I would consider watching twice I'll take as well if it is upwards of 10 dollars...

Let's be realistic here, I've always been a discount dvd shopper and the reason is simple. Why pay full price? If I wanted to do that I would have gone to the movies and spent the arm and a leg for the two tickets (no shit I'm going to take a date) and then the parking, fuck, can't forget the snacks. The most important part, reeces, or gummi bears, or snow caps? Slushy or soda? And enough to make me want to puke mid movie or not? Important questions that loom over you and make time feel like it is eternal as you sit there deciding...

Nevermind that for now, I buy the dogs, bring it to the shop, pop it in, and it doesn't fucking work! I;m beside myself. I go back to Target, replace it, bring the new one, and guess what, it didn't work again. Head back over, and now they think I am crazy, so they pop it into a dvd player that is built into a wizzeak tv only to show me, yeah you guessed it, it works...



Moral: Not every DVD player will play all discs, so try VLC, and if it doesn't work on VLC...you're shit out of luck

Keep dancin'

Monday, June 1, 2009

YOUR SHITZ WIZZEAK

Ah yes, Grandma's Boy. Fantastic Happy Madison film executive produced by none other than the comedic executive producer himself, Adam Sandler. The man who is featured in this film is the robbing cohort from the Mr. Deeds film who gets knocked around by Longfellow Deeds when he snatched the purse...come on now, you all remember that...

Anyhow, the film is premised on a man who gets his junk kicked in a few times but takes it in stride. Mostly because he uses Mary Jane as a coping tool when life kicks him square in the junk, but that's film and we'll leave it be. The man is a video game tester (something that most of the male species at one point or another aspires to be professionally) and is creating his own Demonic game on the side...

I mean who doesn't grow up wanting to play video games for a living. I used to practice for hours after I watched the film The Wizards (1989) which was all about a child's dream to be a video gamer...anyhow, I won't spoil either film because they are good watching but I will say that if you like crude comedy, dirty jokes, and otherwise greasy viewing in general...I recommend the hour and change for this one...



Moral: Watch the unrated version. Otherwise, your shits weak...YOUR SHITZ WIZZEAKKK...

Keep dancin' to the dance dance revolution!!!!