Friday, April 24, 2009

Hot Sauce

What do you use it for? I usually put hot sauce on everything. Eggs, beef kebabs, fries, toast, hell I will even put it on pizza. If I were Marlon Wayans I would put it on girls feet, but I ain't, so I won't...maybe. Hot sauce is universally used as ingredients to many delicacies around the world, and why shouldn't it be, it's one of the best creations known to man...

Confused, I know, I tend to be all over the place, but I am here, with you all, so gather yourself and focus through the ficus for a moment, if you need help Tiger's new Gatorade drink should help with that. Hot sauce is not only a delicious kick to any part of your mean, it also provides you with an Endorphin rush. Yes people, endorphins! Per Wiki - "The are compounds produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus in vertebrates during strenuous exercise, excitement, pain, and orgasm." HMMMMMM...

Fuck condiment, hot sauce is the next Viagra! I'm going to lobby that they put a label on the side of the package, warming, you may experience excitement and orgasmic stimulation during consumption. From now on when I order my food I am going to say, yes give me hot sauce a side of fries, some beef and some feta cheese salad, extra onions...thank you, thank you kindly ladies and gentlemen, be sure to tip your waitress before you leave...



Moral: Hot sauce....ohhh...ooohhhhHHH....OHHHHHHHH

Keep Dancin'

Thursday, April 23, 2009

You think so

But you really aren't! The term multitasking was created to make people feel important. Realistically when do you multitask? You have a computer program running one thing, on the phone talking about something else en route to a meeting you have to get to in the next 5 minutes, and sending an email on your palm pilot all at the same time?

Really? BACK IT UP! First off the running program is running all on it's own, you aren't doing anything with that program, it's its own entity once you began it. You are in between the program and meeting while you are on the phone talking about whatever and so you aren't doing more than 2 things yet again. And finally, you probably got an email on your palm while talking on your headset, stopped listening to the person talking, replied to the email and then asked what the person had just rambled about for the past 2 to 3 minutes....

You know that's what you do, and if it isn't in email form, it's a text! Don't think for a second that you do more than one thing at once. Computers parallel process, humans are unable to simultaneously perform tasks because the human brain isn't set up this way. When you try to do many things at once, you become inefficient, and it takes time to get back to what you were trying to accomplish because your thought process on one topic was interrupted for another...



Moral: “There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time. This steady and undissipated attention to one object, is a sure mark of a superior genius; as hurry, bustle, and agitation, are the never-failing symptoms of a weak and frivolous mind.”

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Importance of chewing

Rush, rush, rush, and when you have a second to yourself, you rush some more in order to get more done. Driving from place to place you find yourself on your mobile phone trying to conduct business. Whether it's where you are going out, when you are working out, or how much work you have to get done before you leave to sit in traffic, one can't help fall into multitasking. First off the word multitasking, it's BS, but I'll save that for another day...

The phone is one thing and doesn't completely effect you unless you consider the electromagnetic field that radiates from the device for hours on end near something you may consider keeping healthy. Again, topic for another time. The other thing, chewing! How often do you find yourself sitting in your office cubicle, scarfing down whatever is in the brown bag that you threw together that day? Often, I know, because I am guilty of it too...

So you're asking yourself by now, "Hey, Sarvosh, why do I need to focus on chewing when I can multitask, you know that work that means I can eat, read, type, talk, paint, cut, and so on and so forth?" Good question. You should chew for many reasons. Your digestive system begins the moment you begin to eat something. The action of chewing tells your stomach that it will soon have some amount of food headed it's way for processing. Not only that, you are able to oxygenate your food the more you chew it, which in turn will keep your mind healthier. Now, say you don't chew as much and let your stomach do the chewing for you, you'll end up passing undigested food into your intestines, creating a not so comfortable exit plan.



Moral: New studies have also shown that increased chewing helps engage the endocrine system of your body helping you look younger, and, in turn, healthier. Chew on that!

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It has been brought to my attention

That there are some very funny youtube clips that have been recently created. Both of which I will highlight in this blogspot are funny, although one is clearly funnier than the other. These videos were brought to my attention by a rather delightful bulls fan who goes by the name of Esso-Esso! And fortunately for me, i won't be getting ragged on as much as I would have been had the Celt's been down two-nil at this point...

Moving forward, the first song is a spoof of Plain White T's - Hey there Delilah which really needs no explanation at all. The video is rather plain but the song is pretty funny for those of you who are of Middle Eastern / Asia minor descent like myself and my cohort Spice here, so without further adieu please enjoy this funny rendition of Hey There Khalilah...



The second has been on repeat for me all day! It's not even right how hard I have been laughing. From the lyrics, to the suit, to the stash, to the classic 90s techno break down, how could one not enjoy this fantastic creation! The real frustrating part is that it begins to linger and you can't help play it buy 3 or 4 more times...bahhhhh ENJOY!



Moral: "But she made it without the tomatos, so I had to tell her, see you later..." if this doesn't win a Grammy I don't know what will...

Keep Dancin'

Monday, April 20, 2009

Don't worry about it...

It's just one loss. Realistically it doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things. Who cares that the bulls came into Boston and took the first game of a seven game series that will end with Boston taking it in 6. Really, it isn't going to hit seven. And there are many reasons, but the more prominent being that Ray-Ray AKA Jesus Shuttlesworth AKA JESSSSSSUUUUSSSSSSS is not going to go something ridiculous like one for 12 again...not happening fellas...

The nice thing is that he's gotten possibly the worst game of his playoffs this season out of the way. Think a moment cause if he hit that clear lane dunk, the game wouldn't have gone into OT...big baby wouldn't have fouled out...and the reigning champions would be up one-nil now. Yeah so in reality, I'm not worried. Not even the slightest bit.

And here's another prediction for you guys thinking that the boys in green are going down. Once we beat the bulls, and Philly beats the magic...we'll coast into the east coast finals against the cavs and jester James. The best part of this is going to be that the KaGed beast will most definitely be available even though he was already announced as not able to play. I'm callin it now!



Moral: "ANNYYYTTTHHHIIINNNNGGGGG ISSSSSS POOOOSSSSSSIIIIBBBBLLLLEEEEE." Yes KG; anything is possible!

Keep Dancin'