Thursday, December 31, 2009

New years eve

Hello the last day of 2009. The last day of the first decade in the new millennium. Two more years and 2012 will be here. I'm kidding. Well sort of. But that discussion won't be read on this page for another 2 years, possibly. I'm just really excited for the new year. Of course the promising outlook for the beginning of the new year, and hopefully a prosperous decade helps also...

I've got the list here. The list of the new things that I will most likely not get done in the upcoming year. The resolutions list. What - don't read my blog like that. I know what you're thinking. What good is the new year's resolutions if you aren't going to fulfill them. I'm with you, for the most part. I believe the list is more of a guideline to help you become better, but not a demands list...

You can hold yourself to it, but if you don't fulfill the whole list are you going to be down on yourself at the end of the year in 2010? I like to set little goals throughout the year and see if I can get those done. The Laundry - check. Clean the car - check. Get my testicles laminated - maybe in 2010...



Moral: I've heard laminating your testis is very invigorating...

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Gold toe slippers

I don't ask for much during Christmas, or my birthday, or really any other day. I enjoy my cups of coffee with friends during the few minutes a day when I leave work and all it's stresses behind. Basically, I'm going to save the long winded speech and simply say that I really appreciate the little things more so than the big things...

Reason behind that is actually simple. If I expect big things and don't get them, I'll be disappointed, whereas if I didn't expect anything, or expected something simple, I can't be disappointed. Kind of backwards, but at least I don't look, feel, or act like an ass when something doesn't go my way...

Fast forward, wait a minute, rewind back to Christmas day; I'm not expecting anything, I'm not growns up but I am growns up enough that I probably shouldn't be getting many gifts. Anyhow, the short and long of it is that I got these friggin sweet ass mint gold toe cloth slippers that makes me footsies feel all warm and comfy...



Moral: Being greasy requires complete comfort...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I have got to stop that

I've got this thing where on holidays, such as Christmas and other food related holidays, I challenge my cousin Dzl to an eating contest where there really is no winner. We both put forth our best effort which almost always gets trumped with both of us passing out after about the 3rd plate...

We attack the table the minute we walk into the house and decide who's plate is heavier based on a hand/hand balance where each of us holds the other's plate and agree on who's is heavier. Annnnd - we do this about 3 or 4 times. Mind you these aren't normal plates.

They are about 2 pounds in weight on average (and yes I am neglecting the value of the porcelain), and we literally continue to shovel the food down until one or both of us are down for the count. By the way, down for the count means that we're asleep - cause that's the only way we stop eating...



Moral: Postprandial somnolence - what a greasy term for food coma...

Keep dancin'

Monday, December 28, 2009

Schubert's Ave Maria...

Classic. One of the epic songs that was selected by the cinematic genius Martin Scorsese in his film Raging Bull, this song gives me goose bumps every time I hear it. The scene in which it can be heard is as epic as the song itself and so I tend to listen to the song whenever I sense some sort of change occurring with myself.

Actually that's only partially true - I listen to it every so often when I feel some sort of change has come about my being, or during the Christmas holiday season. I tend to have emotions overflowing during the Christmas season and really appreciate the way that this song makes me feel.

I'm sure it has something to do with it being a church prayer that is calling out for the intercession of Mary, the mother of Jesus, which gives me some feeling of salvation. Probably makes a bit more sense now as to why I enjoy it so much. It's also has something to do with it being so peaceful and enjoyable...



Moral: Sometimes it's nice to let yourself get carried away

Keep dancin'

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

First off. Merry Christmas. YEAH MERRY CHRISTMAS. I'm shocked by the fact that everyone says happy holidays and seems to hold back on saying that. I walked into Target the other day and saw Happy Hanukkah. No problem there. It's cool. But why can't people muster the courage to say Merry Christmas anymore?

Personally I don't care, I say it to anyone who tells me "Happy Holidays." It's ridiculous. As much as this country says they don't discriminate against peoples beliefs they are totally discriminating against their own it seems. I understand, they don't want to upset anyone persons or culture but let's just enjoy the day for what it is...

It's a day of family, friends, and gifts. Gifts in any form - food, time, hugs, kisses, call of duty modern warfare 2, fur coats, mistle toes, cigars and other such things of whatever nature. It's the day when kids like me run down stairs with eyes as big as my being hoping that Santa dropped something besides coal off for him...but in all honesty, there are people living on the streets, cold, hungry and sick. Take a minute to give a gift to the Salvation Army and give someone you don't know a Merry Christmas as well...



Moral: The gift of giving is much more rewarding than that of receiving...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, December 24, 2009

New Years Resolutions....

It's only a week away people...I still don't have any yet. I really should start taking a little more me time and doing some soul searching, also the post I put out about a week or so ago did seem like that. That's more long term life goals though. I need to figure out the new years resolution thing so I can say that something I did came to fruition.

In past years I haven't really ever made a resolution. By the time New Years Eve came around I had been getting pummelled by coursework and work and getting things done that I hadn't thought of it. I'd break in the new year thinking this next year will be better than the last, but how could it be if I don't have a game plan, right?

I need it to be something more tangible you know. I always see the things Something more results driven that can be accomplished say 3 months at a time. That way I could get 4 or so things accomplished a year. Nothing ambiguous like oh I want to join a gym. Yeah, and? I want Janet Jackson Abs. Oh yeah sarvosh, you want JJ Abs. She's got terrific abs people. Probably the best in the game. Plus I would rather work out to her than watch Billy Blanks do one more tae bo fucking kick...



Moral: Keep laughing - imma have the best abs on the block - or the keg I'm still rocking

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Favorite Christmas Movies

AHHHH Christmas. I love this time of year. Minus fluffy white death (FWD), or what some people refer to it as, snow. The only time I want to see it is when I am skiing and that's once every long while. And for those fucks who say they like snow, they are the people who don't get up off their asses and shovel a 2 car garage along with the wrap around sidewalk...Yeah, thought so...

Along with the cold weather and FWD, we also get the crazy mall drivers. The old ladies who hit you with their bags as they walk around carrying 20 times their body weights. We turn into ants come Christmas somehow. It's really an un-natural phenomena that I can't seem to understand. It may have something to do with adrenaline but the results from the research aren't in yet...

However, we also have those fun films that we all love to watch, including some of my favorite christmas films - drum roll please...brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....brrrrrrrrr...brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr JOYYY TO THE WORRRRRRLLLLDDDDD................National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! Home Alone! Love Actually! A Christmas Carol! Miracle on 34th Street! and Scrooged!



Moral: Enjoy those films if you haven't seen them - Christmas Vacation and Scrooged are the greasiest of the bunch...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Bond 23

I was just listening to the James Bond theme song on this classical and jazz itunes radio station while reading all the mistakes on yesterday's blog and was thinking about how Clive Owen was supposed to act as the next James Bond and for some reason he didn't fit the bill. Maybe it was the cut of his jib, or his acting in shoot'em up, or his face...

Any which way you cut it up, they decided to go with a not so conventional Bond, and by not so conventional I mean the way bond was written to be - shrewd, edgy and a bit of an asshole - and so D-Craig became our man. Probably because he played a similar role in layer cake years before that caught the casting crews eyes but that's neither here nor there...

Well, maybe it is here, probably not there, but things are moving along nicely for this performances in Bond. He's got Bond 23 in pre-production stage, which is slated to be released in twenty eleven sometime. The three year break is good for me because the last film didn't do much for me as he was out for revenge for losing his love - I hope he's a lot tougher and a lot less emotion in the future films...



Moral: I hate it when studios bastardize shit to gross a profit...

Keep dancin'

Monday, December 21, 2009

Shoot'em up

No, not the movie. Although Clive Owen and Monica Belucci do make a rather attractive yet awkward tandem in the film, so it was worth mentioning, and I'd recommend checking it out, if only to watch the single sex scene between them. Trust me you'll enjoy it, it's nothing graphic but rather comedic as far as how to kill multiple people in one scene goes...

No, I'm not talking about heroin either...I'm talking about my first experience going paint balling. My cousin Drico turned 13, so he asked Dzl and I to go paint balling. We found an indoor venue that would suit us well and figured it would be a blast to shoot a bunch of 13 year olds. Yes, I know, pick on someone my own size - but being short has it's advantages...

We randomized teams and went full force at each other. I shot my wonderful sister in the head about 5 or 6 times...she thought I wouldn't shoot at her...ain't no such thing as love in the arena though...my cousin Drico got shot in his nuts by the sharp shooter of the day - J-Bone, who also shot a Yianni in the ass and his girl between the eyes. Legit folks - right between the eyes (yes we wore cups and masks but the splat on her face shield was beautiful)



Moral: Paintballs are full of fish oil - greasy...I think so...

Keep dancin'

Friday, December 18, 2009

Friday funky trance house special

It's been a while since I recommended a good funky trance type song to all of my readers and so I thought this would be a good time to do it. Maybe I'll do this regularly on Fridays, depending on the feedback. I first heard the song off my friend DJ Eddy K's world peace album and it really got me going...

The next time I heard this song was was at a bar in Montreal at the time on the second floor of this trippy place when the DJ first dropped it I don't recall the name now which sucks. It was pretty sweet cause the second floor has half of it closed and the other half open roof style and people were getting down with it. Beautiful night sky that far up north and just good tunes and good times.

I was enjoying my gin and tonic and this tune came on and the rest as they say is history. I could find the name of the song for long after I had heard it because I thought I could remember the lyrics. Randomly I heard the DJ spin this and so I feel like I need to pass this tune on as it is one of those feel good tracks that just allows you to let go and have fun...



Moral: Nothings going to change the world - if you don't do it...Tristan Garner

Keep dancin'

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Just another day...

It's just another day. Like any other day. I drive to and from work. I look at the world around me and see things moving along in their natural stride. I see homeless people on the street, people out of work and walking with signs asking for me. A part of me thinks that some are taking advantage of the economic situation and the other part of me thinks some are really in need of money...

So I donate. I'm no angel. I sometimes wish I could do more and I've been trying to think of what that would be but haven't come up with a solution for that yet. It's not my problem but I feel that it is at times. Something like the weight of the world on my shoulders. But I just want to be able to say that I helped advance mankind in some way or another someday before I leave this life...

Righteous? I guess so, but it's not the reason I want to do that. I just want people to have as happy and joyful a life as I have. And by that I mean I'd like for them to enjoy family and friends like I enjoy my family and friends. I'm truly blessed and I just want to return the favor to someone else...



Moral: Take time and reflect on all that you have, and you'll realize the grass is probably as green on your side of the lawn as anyone else's...

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I've got a fever...

And the only sure is more Cow Bell! No just kidding. I don't have a fever but I've had a craving for my favorite chips in the world. Sea salt and Vinegar. The tangy chips makes my mouth all dry but i can't help but eat more. Especially the Kettle brand. It's a serious problem and I don't know how to quit the addiction.

I go on binges when I have to just devour some sort of food til it makes me ill to my stomach and yet I still can't help it. I switch between chocolate and salt and sweet and bitter. I get bored I think that's the reason. Maybe not though. I wonder if the weather has anything to do with it. Surprisingly enough the weather's held up in the northeast lately...

And because of that white fluffy death hasn't really taken too much toll on our backs this year. Which is definitely a blessing for myself since I haven't bought a snow blower. So I can just sit back on my fat ass, play online poker and eat salt and vinegar chips until the cows come home. Now that's life...



Moral: Grease attracts grease...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sticking with friday night

This weekend was jam packed. My boy J.Dizzle and I after the drinks got picked up by my amazing sister J-Dubz and headed on over to the local diner for some late night eats. We're waiting a short minute to be seated and are eagerly discussing what we're going to be ordering. Of course our competitive nature gets the best of us as we sit down....

We can't help but decide what to eat so we decide to order the left side of the menu. Really - ok well I'm exaggerating a bit...and what started out as a couple eggs over easy and some toast began to get larger as we were raising and reraising each other at the dinner table, until finally our amazing waitress came over and asked "so whatdaya like?"

J-Dubz ordered a tomato and cheese plate...while J.Dizzle and I got after it. We decided to order a monumental meal in the wee small hours of the morning. That meal consisted of a couple western with cheese plates and a plate of cheeseburger club that we went halves on. Yeah you read right. Two cows at 3am thought that it was ingenious to order that much food.



Moral: And they rest as they say is greasy...

Keep dancin

Monday, December 14, 2009

Was she for real?

Friday night my friends and I went out in town to an upscale club/bar in town and were enjoying a few scotches. Nothing crazy really, just taking it easy after a long week at work and just enjoying some music and friends. I ended up meeting through a friend this 5'2 blond girl with amazing legs and this slinky black dress...

She seemed like she was a bit out of it so I took the initiative to ask her what was on her mind and she insta-replied that all men are assholes. I laughed and thought to myself, another needy girl at a yuppy bar and decided to continue the conversation so I asked how come she thought so highly of my species. She responded with an unamused snide look but decided to go on with an explanation.

She mentioned some guy who stopped talking to her and how he treated her, so instead of going down that alley for the rest of the night I directed the conversation in a more positive direction, asking about her interests and such. Her mood changed a little bit and she decided to dive into what makes me tick. Rather intelligent girl, she was asking about my background, education, and then she asked me my favorite question of the evening - she asked me was how much I made...



Moral: No wonder you think guys are assholes - if you ask them what they make they'll stop talking to you, ya donkey...

Keep dancin'

Friday, December 11, 2009

Are we there yet?

Why yes we are - another Friday - another weekend to get fired up. And there is much reason to get fired up for. It's the end of the work week for starters. It's one day closer to Christmas (one of my favorite holidays of the year) and it's almost New Years (another one of my favorite holidays of the year).

So what's so good about this weekend. It's a few of my friends birthdays - Kasia, Krissy, Mike, Jacque, Tina, Corinne, and one of my very good friends from D-12 - my boy DJ Esso (ESSO ESSO)!!! Happy birthday to all of you. I wish you all happy birthdays. May you all get wiser in your old age and ferment like alcohol - by getting stronger.

I'm very happy to be younger than all of you because I learn from all your mis-steps. I just turned 21 by the way - for the eighth time. I just can't seem to graduate, there's this thing that's been holding me back. It may be like little league baseball with the ten run rule - so I'm sure I'll get past it in a couple years



Moral: If not - i'll keep drinkin the goose and I'll just...

Keep Dancin'

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Speaking of golden arches

"I've got the golden arcs." One of the greasiest films of all time - Coming to America! I've seen this film an endless amount of times. Every time it is playing on TNT I can't help but sit through it and laugh my ass off. I mean the greasiest character of all film is in there. Daryl - the heir to the Soul Glow empire!

His perm is dripping with grease. He acts as if he placed the hundreds of large denominated bills in the church offering plate to get laid. He sleeps with the sister of his girlfriend. He throws his milk shake on Hakim and besides all this, he still keeps on activating to make sure his hair is pristine!

The film is just comedic genious. I forget how many characters were played by Eddie Murphy and Ansenio "WOOT WOOT WOOT" Hall - who's name is Semmi and he is semi greasy trying to upgrade the apartment to have a whirlpool, sending out a telegram to ask for more money from the king and tops it off by telling Lisa's sister, Patrice, that he's the real heir to the Kingdom of Zamunda...



Moral: "Girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit." - Reverend Brown [Coming to America]

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Big macs all around

Closing the smoke shop the other day I got called out. Called out to get fired up and take down some great burgers at an hour that no one should be eating. Called out at an hour when most are asleep. Called out at an hour when I should have been asleep. What do I do instead...I say YOU WON'T - right back!

The air in the shop instantly changed from a dominating air where I should have folded - to the air of all in as I pushed right back on Dzl's value bet he put out there. So he had no choice but to show shock and disbelieve when I leaned right back. The call he let out when I went back at him went something to the tune of high pitch wow with a low pitch holy shit to a mid range fuck....

After closing the vents and locking up my cousin and I head on over to none other than McDonald's. To make sure this was the right move we flipped a coin 3 times. It landed on tails first - then twice on heads and we were off. We pulled up to the drive through - ordered 4 big macs, 2 large fries, 2 large cokes and 2 ten piece nuggets...



Moral: The rest, as they say, is greasy...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A curious union

Who knew metal and symphonies can unite in such grand fashion. This album is definitely an oldy that I found laying around somewhere under the greasiness of my bedroom - S & M by Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra - this union is not only curious but it's actually very powerful...

I first heard the album about a decade ago during my second job ever at an engineering design company while working in the computer aided design department. My boy Tattoo Mike introduced me to the album and the headphones didn't come off for weeks while at work. It just gave me so much energy and before I knew it I was using the album to lift the few pounds I threw up back then...

The double album from Metallica boasts classics like Master of Puppets, Fuel, The Memory Remains, Until it Sleeps, and Enter Sandman! The performance Metallica gives is just awesome but the best part of the album is the San Francisco Symphony, in my opinion at least. I feel that they were the reason that Metallica came out there with such energy and gave the performance they did...



Moral: "Fortune, fame, mirror vain, gone insane, but the memory remains..." - Metallica

Keep Dancin'

Monday, December 7, 2009

If you like donkeys...

Especially Handsome ones, then wait no longer as they have arrived presenting you with situations you couldn't imagine. From living as Tin man to showering with Dikembe Mutumbo to carrying civil war battles, AC and BC along with their two cohorts (who both write and direct) have thought thoroughly and presented decisions to the masses that will have you tilting your head and going though a day dream sequence...

I first watched them act in "The Squeegees" and was laughing fairly hard through most of it. Then I noticed the Decisions Decisions trailer and I was anxiously awaiting the season. The trailer is extremely high quality and I'm sure once you watch it you won't hesitate to watch the rest of the season which is now out.

Now you ask, how come you didn't tell me about these guys two weeks ago if they were so funny? I reply - suck a glass one - it's for your own good. No, really though, I didn't want you all anticipating as much as I did so I held off, so again, suck a glass one. The shorts are hysterical, can be watched in one sitting, and really now, it just doesn't get greasier than carrying around a pink dildo to throw at a robber...



Moral: Greasy just got greasier...

Keep dancin'

Friday, December 4, 2009

Speaking of traffic

Today's will be short. I was in LA having a few drinks with some old and new friends when a band that goes by the name of Pipe Sandwitch came on to play. They were an eclectic bunch who knew a thing or two and a thing or two. Their style was unorthodox, they were a bit awkward but it all came together well.

They all supported handle bar mustaches, mullets (business up front - party in the back) and a strange approach to comedic performance. They were all rocker - the lead vocal man had lots of passion and kept his note, the drummer played on what appeared to be a 5 year olds drum set, but man did he wail on that thing, and the third member on his digimedo (i may have butchered this again).

It was so good though that it got the entire place to bring them back up for their first encore and hopefully they will make it past the small lounge stage and make it onto comedy central or something bigger and better...



Moral: I may grow out a mullet just for sake of it...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Luckily for me

It's thursday. Not quite friday but it has the friday feel. Got a few things going on and got a few things that are on the burner back there but for the most part things have mellowed out. Listening to Deano before I pass out has been doing that for me though.

It's not really an interesting phenomena, how music influences my life so much, but it still catches me off guard at times how much of an effect it really can have on how mellow or not I can be. I think therefore I am sort of deal you know, and it's really true.

There is an old armenian saying that translated is the following - I say I am good so I will be good. And at the moment I'm feeling pretty good. But I sometimes wonder why I didn't put on the smooth jazz when I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic while listening to Ludacris' move bitch - get out da way!



Moral: Cause they need to move and get out the way!

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Maybe I should...

Get my fat ass back in the gym. I literally gained about 7 pounds (also an excellent film for those who haven't seen it - will smith does a terrific job in this role) eating all sort of stuffing and cranberry sauce and rice and burgers and chinese after late nights with Goose and so forth I really have to...

I was planning on starting monday night (2 days ago monday night) but that didn't happen. Don't ask me why, cause my answer will be why not. If you ask how come, I'll quaintly note my work schedule didn't allow for it - but it's all a lie. I can make the time for it if I want...

And I do want, believe you me - I want to get back down to my 160 (plus minus 2 lbs) but I am enjoying packing on some extra coating for the winter months. It's cold here in the north east, man! It's damn cold some days. A 40 degree swing on a one/two day basis can get frustrating...



Moral: The greasy just get greasier...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Have it your way

Why thank you, I think I will! My cousins and I decide to really get after it after the ass kicking I handed them in candlepin bowling (if you don't know, look it up) and so we decided to head on over to burger king to have it our way...It's just so hard to choose one item so we thought, may as well get greasy with it...

We ordered the greasiest items on the menu - of course double whopper with cheese and bacon were to be had, along with all sorts of goodies on the side. We grab ourselves a seat and go to get the condiments and drinks. A few cubes of ice for me with 49% doc pep 49% root beer and 2% sprite thank you and also bbq, honey mustard, buffalo and ketchup sauces...

The only annoying part is the mini ketchup holders, so I improvise and take a coffee lid and place ketchup in that for the play of the day and get back to the table. I devour all but 2 bites of the two all beef patties when Dzl issues a challenge, which was to pour the bbq and honey mustard sauce onto the last two bites, so I upgrade that to include fries in the patties and the ketchup...



Moral: The rest, as they say, was greasy...

Keep dancin

Monday, November 30, 2009

The seasonal drink of choice

It's my vice. I can't stop goig to starbucks - and when I think I can get away from them once again, they pull me right back in! Those guys know how to make a coffee. And not only that, they do it with a smile and it's always fresh made to order, what burger king wanted to be...You know, have it your way, anyway...

First it was venti americano, then it moved on to the cinnamon dolce mocha latte, then it moved to a triple triple with some obscure flavors that I don't recall but they stopped serving it - but it was an orange flavor that blew everything out of the water...and now they've gone and done this...

The peppermint mocha latte seasonal beverage that is half peppermint - half mocha - and all good! They have these small grated mocha chips in there and the mocha syrup along with the hint of peppermint, I just can't get enough. I feel that it is a losing battle with them - so since I can't beat them - I'll join them, by buying their stock...



Moral: May as well get some returns on all my investments...

Keep dancin'

Friday, November 27, 2009

Making it happen

I'm not quite where I want to be but I'm getting there. At least in fantasy basketball - i've given up as far as fantasy football goes because in the 4 leagues I'm in, I'm in the bottom of the pile! It's not working right at all. My teams on paper should be good - but whatever - it's a lost cause at this point in the season...

I'm definitely in 3rd place in basketball though and only 2.5 games back - which just means that it's only a matter of time before i take over first place as soon as my team kicks in high gear once R. Lewis makes it happen and starts performing consistently for the magic...

I;m not worried though, I always perform well in bball, at least in the ead to head leagues that I play in cause I got smoked in roto last year. I just can't wait to get into the playoffs and make it happen this year. I'm getting tired of being strong all year and not performing well in the playoffs.



Moral: Continue scouring for gems on the waiver wire

Keep dancin'

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Greased up Turkies!

Just want to take a moment and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving where all of the greasiest foods will be ingested in large quantities as you feast with family and friends on this day. May your turkeys be stuffed - your stuffings be salty - the crust on your pies be crispy - and the cranberry sauce be tarty...

It's literally one of my favorite new holidays to celebrate because it's just spoonful after spoonful of grease and you don't have to get up for work the next day. Gets me all fired up and I can't really stop until I've put myself in a food coma. But isn't that just the best? Eat so much that by the time 5pm rolls around you knock out on the couch watching football...

Sometimes - this time I can't be doing that because I have some guests coming in from out of country to get things going and for that I'm going to be drinking espresso martinis, shout out to the bartender in LA that introduced me to this - what a bad influence she was :-P...but it works to keep me wired and loose and fired up...



Moral: Get greasy with it...

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Loz Feliz - Par 3

While in LA I went golfing. This was the second time I'd ever gone out onto the green to partake the rich and relaxing activity. Of course, Sy-bone and I totally play the part. We get dressed in khakis and V-neck sleeveless plaid vests and head on down to the links.

BTW Los Feliz is the same golf course that swingers did a scene on, and back to the story. We get there, around 3pm cause for no good reason were we slow to get out of the house that day - and i head on over to rent lefty clubs. Well, they stop renting clubs out at 2pm because of policy - but they were nice enough to let me use Sy-bone's clubs.

No big deal, right? Right. Well, except the fact that the club set was right handed. Yeah - so the second time ever golfing I am golfing with an unnatural swing. Regardless I think it worked in my favor towards the last three holes. I crushed one about 150 yards with a 4 Iron. Yeah I did! And on the last hole...



Moral: Sometimes you gotta switch it up to get better...

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

About 10 pounds

That's about what I gained when I went over to cali this past week. My boy A.C. and I ate like mad men. And one of the nights that we went out to eat it was homemade Chinese food. And by homemade I mean the menu was not written in English. The best part about all was that the entire meal was going to be a surprise for me.

Let me just preface this with the food was absolutely amazing! Between the two of us we ran a 60 dollar bill - which is unheard of between two people at a joint like this. You go in there and order one or two items off the menu and call it a day. No, not us. We're champions - and we got after it.

Here's the list:
Onion Pancakes
Scallion Pancakes
Fried Vegetables and Tofu
Shredded chicken with Noodles
Noodles with Peanut sauce
Steamed Pork
Pork slices
Shredded Pork Stomach
Beef tendons with sweet honey sauce
and...
Stinky Tofu (shown below)!



Moral: Fuckin amatuers - you want stinky tofu - hell I can get you stinky tofu by 3 o'clock.

Keep dancin'

Monday, November 23, 2009

I just can't stop loving you...

I've said it before, and I am going to say it again. I love you. I love you Virgin America! I. Love. You! Here's the deal. I had tried to use the American Airlines voucher that was given to me to fly from Frisco to LAX. So i called up AA and tried to get them to come through on their promise, I gave them the voucher number and they needed the issue date and a bunch of other information that I didn't have because I didn't have the physical voucher with me.

The voucher number should have been fine though. It's a fuckin tracking number. Why do you need 332 more things from me when you fucked up - issued a voucher for a 100 bucks for me - told me I can use it whenever - then tell me that I can't use it because I have to send it in, in advance, in order to be able to use it. What the fuck is that shit about?

So I decided to pay a little more just to fly Virgin Air! I upgraded to first class for another 75 bucks - which btw includes free bag checks, free movies, free food, and free drinks - and went on my merry fucking way. Not to mention that I had free wifi on the plane the entire time I have been 35000 feet in the air.



Moral: There really is no substitute for the quality that you get with that airline.

Keep dancin'

Friday, November 20, 2009

The greasiest little bottle!

I head on for lunch with the crew once the tutorials broke for lunch. Starving at this point I'm looking for anything to mow down on. Get in line, pick up a ham and cheese sandwich to throw back and a bottle of water. I was really craving some spice though so I a bit disappointed that there was nothing spicy there.

I continue waiting in line for my colleagues to see where they are going to sit. We were lookin to grab a seat outside by every body for some reason just ran outside like they'd never seen the sun before. Or, better yet, like they were from the northeast living under clouds and other overcast all the fuckin time.

WHATEVA...i told them all to say hi to their mothaz for me and peaced out looking for another seat to swipe. I thought to myself, need a little mayo for this ham and cheese wich i got here, so i mozied on over to the condiment table where to my complete and utter delight, found the greasiest little bottle ever known to man!



Moral: Spice it up with greasy hot sauce...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, November 19, 2009

ToDai...

No, not today, To (pronounced Toe) Dai (pronounced die) was a sushi spot my buddy AC found on city search. He read all the reviews and boom we were off on another little dining adventure where we would feast on many different kinds of seafood and poultry and all the other goodies the spot had to offer.

Being as hungry as we were since we hadn't eaten til noon, and it was now 7 in the pm, so it was only natural that we picked a buffet - and did we take advantage. A bottle of warm sake, 2 bottles of Sapporo and 10 plates of food later we claimed victory of the ToDai restaurant. Until we came to the conclusion we were defeated when we couldn't walk any longer due to the food coma we were in...

The sushi, plentiful, bowls of udon soup and Tabasco sauce, another couples plates of sushi for the both of us, some craw fish, clams, oysters, man talk about eating - the waitresses were astonished by the copious amounts we were putting down. In the greasiest of fashion cracking open the craw fish having the juices splatter over everything while dousing it in Tabasco...can't get any better...



Moral: 40 bucks can easily buy you a good time when you go to a buffet

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tax much?

Don't even get me started on how hard AC and I took it in the bacteria barrel when we went to rent the car. The trip is on the company, but seriously, this is probably part of the reason why companies are in such bad shape, as far as travel expenses and food accommodations are concerned.

We get off the total recall train and head on over to the rental station. We wait in line as there are 4 tellers at Avis and no one else in line, but every teller appears to be busy handling the invisible customer in front of them, so fuck it, no rush we wait. Finally Marilyn, we'll just call her Marilyn cause I forget her name, calls us over.

She literally bones us. No joke. This lady tries to up sell us on a hybrid car for 15 extra dollars a day, then says she will give us 14 dollars off, thanks hunny! So we don't take it, obviously. We continuously ask her for a compact and she continuously is obnoxious in ignoring our requests, when finally she says, you want a compact - here you go, it's 2 bucks cheaper than the regular sedan. Again, Thanks hunny! There is no reason why the compact is only 2 bucks cheaper. Then she hits us with the tax. Our rental total, mind you is 200 bucks. The garmin, another 60, so we're at 260....and now tax - drumroll again...brrrrrr - a whopping fucking 390 bucks....



Moral: If you want to get boned from taxes, visit the San Fran Airport where they also charge for breathing!

keep dancin

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Total recall, already?

When I got into San Fran - let's backtrack a moment actually - no direct flights to San Jose so sarvosh looks for the closest airport that Virgin will fly to direct and here we are @ San Fran flying on the best airline that taxis the skies! So when I get into San Fran, I pick up my luggage and head over to the car rental area of the airport.

First off - San Fran international is fuckin huge! So I'm walking up escalators, walking down stairs, walking through halls, up a few levels in an elevator, down the secret passage way til I finally reached...drum roll....brrrrrrrrrr - Baggage claim! Hip Hip - Hooray! And guess what, unlike Amerishithole Airlines, my luggage was the first one out!

So i head on over to find where the rental car spot is with my buddy AC and apparently we need to get into a train to take us over to where the car rentals are. This train, no conductor. Yeah - some total fuckin recall shit and I shit you not. "breaks on - doors opening - watch your step - doors closing - breaks off - next stop ruggles" Seriously it was some freaky shit rolling around this coaster that's arraged in a loop around the airport to get to the car rental...



Moral: all that was missing was the giant x-ray machine and the lady with the exploding face

Keep dancin'

Monday, November 16, 2009

Success!!!

So yesterday my nerves were acting up. I went to bed around 11pm on Saturday night in order to get a good night's sleep for my presentation on Sunday when all I seemed to be getting was woken up by what felt like a fist in the pit of my stomach. Yeah, not butterflies, a huge fucking fist! I couldn't help it, for some reason my nerves were getting the better of me...

So I woke up for good at 630 in the morning and began reviewing my material again for the hour long talk on what it is that I do, and I won't bore you with the details, but I went through it, and was getting hung up. So, sarvosh, in stride, pulled out a deck of cards and started flipping. An old technique I learned from my cousin blackie, who is somewhere overseas protecting us in true Marine fashion.

He told me - flip a couple cards, treat the values like blackjack and start doing push ups! So i did, and before i knew it I was calm as a cucumber and ready for the talk. Before I knew it the hour came and passed to applause by the crowd filling me with complete satisfaction as my preparation for this talk did not go in vain.



Moral: Eggs Benedict in the morning should also calm that fist down - greasy!

Keep dancin'

Friday, November 13, 2009

Hello San Jose!

The time has come. I'm off to San Jose for a week to give that tutorial for my work. I'm excited, anxious, little nervous, but I know the material. Last year I went to fast, like I had mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, but I feel more secure this time around.

Plus, I've got a year more under my belt doing what I do, and, for the most part, I've learned a great deal. How to adapt to the ever changing needs of customers is a bit cumbersome, but you get used to it. So when I get up there this time I'll have more knowledge, and more practice giving the talk than I did last year.

I'm just going to go up there and breath. I think that will do the trick. I gave the talk to my boss and a few coworkers and they said that I knew the material, a few changes that just needed to be polished up but nothing significant. So I'll make the adjustments and take the bull by the horns.

http://www.betweenaduck.com/images/success.jpg

Moral: Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing. - Abe Lincoln.

Keep dancin'

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Fantasy - yeah it is...

Well it was another pipe dream. 8 weeks into the season my fantasy teams for football are as follows. 10 of 10, 10 of 10, 7 of 8, and 9 of 10. I could easily say that I am probably thee worst fantasy football manager in the history of fantasy football. Seriously, how the fuck do I do so badly?

I'm sitting there trying to figure it out and I can't. I've drafted solid players, but they haven't been performing for me. Except Brees. That guy is the only reason I get any points in any of my leagues I'm playing in. No joke, I am going to step down from the fantasy football realm at the end of this season.

I just can't hang with the boys. Basketball is another beast though. The season just started and my team is definitely solid on paper. I've finished first place a couple times only to have lost in the playoffs but that's all going to change this year. This is the year the curse of the first place will be broken. This is my time!

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/07uYd1g8y07M1/340x.jpg

Moral: Makin it rain buckets!

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Ninja Assassin

Watching TV last night and I see the commercial for a pretty bad ass film called Ninja Assassin. I'm big into film and martial arts so immediately this film is a must see. Looks very matrix-esque, high energy, great cinematography, so, I'm sold. Then I got to thinking about my tournament days and went a little further back into the basement of the first house I ever liven in when I moved to the country.

My cousins and I would create a world like no other down there where we'd battle each other to no end, or until someone started bleeding and we'd stop to figure out the excuse to give to our parents. We battled in every manner, American gladiators style, wrestling, and of course, martial arts.

This one day, I'll never forget it. I got round house kicked by my boy @ and he went right into a spinning heel kick and back again for a round house - only come full throttle at me with an all powerful fight ending side blade kick to my chest. Needless to say i was in the wall - yeah huge body hole and everything - and the clock fell on my head...



Moral: Should have side stepped

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Shrine

So we get done losing all our money, and get in touch with the evenings coordinator to get the partying started. We make our way over to the VIP section of Shrine and get greeted by a very polite doorman who took prompt care of us. I've been to Vegas and AC and have gotten table service at those two places, so I had high expectations when we were headed into Shrine.

Vegas - ahhh good Ol' Vegas - the service was immaculate there and in AC, so when we were shown to our table almost immediately at Shrine, I was impressed. No one there had an attitude, our amazing waitress made sure to keep the ice cold, and the drinks coming, and just made the night so much more enjoyable.

Not only that, the music was fairly good too. It was no Vegas DJ, but hey, we're in CT, but i had to give it up to him, the man churned out some great tunes on the wheels of steel. By the end of the night none of us were seeing straight, after 3 bottles of Magnum Grey Goose I don't think there was much else to do but go home...



Moral: You can't go home - the late night roulette table is where it's at!

Keep dancin'

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Woods...

So here we are, on the shabbat, driving down for an evening of gambling, drinks and dancing at the MGM grand at Foxwoods. The drive is a bit slow from random traffic on a Saturday at 4pm but the friends are great so there is no rush. Just cruising listening to 80s music and paying tribute to MJ here and there...

We finally come up on it. That initial glance as you drive up and over the hill when you see the white building with purple and green trim, my eyes light up like children during Christmas morning when they finally get to open their gifts. I'm in the playground for adults and it's going to be a phenomenal night put together by none other than J-Dubs....

We get ready, head on over to the casino, walk around and decide to make our mark in the rainmaker on the craps table. Probably wasn't the best idea as the dice were colder than the ice they used in the drinks we got after we busted. But hey, you gotta make sure not to leave the casino without getting something...



Moral: The guy behind the guy right....

Keep dancin'

Friday, November 6, 2009

Read this article

Robot makes scientific discovery (mostly) on it's own. Yeah, you read right; a robot came up with a hypothesis and proved it to be true. It's amazing, as an engineer, I got into the field because I was always nosey and wanted to understand things deeply, as well as develop products that would allow me to be more and more lazy.

Now there won't even be a need for engineers if we can develop robots to think of ideas and prove them and develop them. Imagine, the jetsons, a reality people! Get a robot maid, yeah Toyota would develop that, learns from it's own mistakes. It's unbelievable. Maybe we are living in the matrix, or at least living like what's in Surrogates, and when we die we really just wake up?

Crazy idea but shit man, the difference between fantasy and reality is really just a matter of perception from the point of reference you've been accustomed to. Look at people who live online lives, like those who have counterstrike clan practices, or world of war craft character builds, or physical role playing games like that in role models, their fantasy is actually their reality...



Moral: What ever happened to going to the park with a ball and meeting some people...i know, sick fucks who kidnap...

Keep dancin'

Thursday, November 5, 2009

High ankle sprains?

No problem! Well, problem, but still, not a huge problem. First, the back story. Playing volleyball in a coed league at the company i work at with some old and new friends, very fun. I'm not sure if I stepped on someones ankle or if I just landed in a bad angle but my ankle which is made of glass it seems at this point, rolled, and hard!

I've rolled this ankle so many times that I instantly throw ice on it but continue to try and rotate it. Yeah, stubborn, but I'm walkin with no limp or crutches a day into the injury. I find that it helps a great deal to continuously move and lightly massage bruised areas to get blood into, and effectively get toxins out of, the hurt area cause blood heals. I never understood the theory of icing it and having no blood go to the area...

So i kept rotating and rotating until it finally popped back into place and the next day took a couple good friends suggestions. I went to a health store and picked up a cream by the name of Arnicare. It's a holistic approach to remove pain from joints and muscle aches, and believe you me, i did well to keep my ear to the grind stone on this...and you would too..



Moral: Keep your ear to the grind stone greasers.

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I'm sorry Mario

But Tetris is one of thee best video games of all time. BEST OF ALL TIME! Especially in head to head mode. My sister and I were very competitive little fockers. We'd get home from school and didn't have any elaborate games, but the simple ones we were in all out war against one another. Solitaire we had time trials. Tetris it was head to head. And don't even get me started on spider solitaire.

I think once we solved the solitaire puzzle in 47 seconds. One of the most unreal shuffles I had ever played. J-dubs would always whoop my ass in spider though. But tetris, the jury's still out to who was better. The game got so slow for us that after a while we'd start playing on level 9 before the first block was dropped. If we'd play it from level one it was worse than watching paint dry.

We could start on level ten, and we would sometimes to see how fast we'd lose, cause that was just tetris on speed. You didn't have a chance to rotate a piece and get it into the location you wanted before it was down. If you had more than 3 lines you were doomed to lose, but level 9 brought hours of enjoyment and painful losses, especially that one time I got drop kicked...



Moral: Tread carefully when facing off against a bleeder.

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

And they're off

The Celtics that is. Another year of powerful play will definitely be had by the Celts. This time though the stacked group will make it to the finals against LA and make sure to mop them up like they did a couple years back. Bet you're thinking to yourself, sarvosh, how are you discounting the cavs?

Cause they suck! No, that's a lie, but i'm really not worried about them. They added an aging heavy set shaq, who slows down their offense and clogs the lane for king James. Plus once you get under lebron's skin he goes on tilt - just read this and see how he got embarrassed by a college guy over the summer and made a bunch of phone calls to ensure the video wouldn't get out on the net...

The best part is that the Celtics could very well beat the record set out by the bulls in the 95/96 season where they went 72 and 10. It's a very good possibility that this will happen. I know sheed can blow up, but he's shown signs of restraint thus far this season and I don't think he's going to lose his cool many times along the way.



Moral: Just sit back and enjoy the greasiest team in the league win an 18th championship...

and Keep dancin'!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Another day

Another entertaining few paragraphs from your pal sarvosh...the month of October has come and gone already. I can't begin to imagine that the year has flown by. It's actually funny when you look back at all the years you've lived and reminisce about the stupid things. Like playing gladiators, living in a one block radius of a lot of your good friends and family, and summer vacations...

I remember hangin out during recess - yeah, remember that guys, recess! - and play red rover, koosh football, and any other game one can play in the 30 minute allotted time in the concrete jungle. That's right people, recess took place in a concrete parking lot at the grade school i went to. I cracked my head once on the curb...man that hurt...

Acting in plays, playing video games, dancing, dressing up in costume, doing all sorts of random things. This all hit me when I was surfing one of my favorite sites and came across the following video of this adorable little character droppin it like it's hot! I need to get him to teach me some of those dance moves...



Moral: Time flies when your having fun...

Keep dancin'

Friday, October 30, 2009

Baby Balooga...

Nasty little popper on the streets with his father (I believe) this kid's just straight up entertaining to watch for a few minutes. I bet not too far into the future he'll be picked up for some baby gap commercial that wants to be hip and cater to hipster families. I'm sure someone will see this and try to use him for sales and marketing purposes.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, however you want to view it, he'll be able to cash in from this talent, and hopefully use it to simplify his life going forward. IE maybe get into a performing arts school and really hone his skill. Unfortunate cause maybe he really won't want to do that for his career but the early success may dictate how he goes forward with his life.

One things certain, he'll definitely be viewed for the rest of his life as Baby Balooga whether he likes it or not. I'm hoping for his sake that his agents and family guide him instead of use him for his fifteen minutes of fame. You got to admit though, his fro and hat are definitely pimp!



Moral: Break it down baby - break it down!

Keep dancin'

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm a man

And I like to smell like a man! Seriously there have been some wonderful commercials, the dos equis score, the budwieser clips from back in the day, and now this. Old spice has outdone themselves. Taking a hint from Mad Men and running with it, they put out an advertisement that serves a man's needs.

Well, I guess not so much, but the commercial is actually very funny as it describes the needs of a man by making sure he smells like a man. I find it absolutely hysterical but then again, i find things that are obtuse rather entertaining and funny. Like when the actor rips his face off and says he's a woman...it's just brilliant marketing because you think it's the secret commercial...

Not only do I enjoy the commercial, but I also enjoy the product. It's actually one of the only deodorants (btw people i've heard aluminum containing anti-perspirants are bad for you, haven't done much research on the matter but I strictly use deodorant) that I've come to find works for long long hours...now enjoy the short...



Moral: You're a man...you have a man's needs

Keep dancin'

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Not much to say about this

My friend Nas the other day decided to show me a youtube clip, well many, but the one that I couldn't stop laughing about was about Sesame Street. Someone decided to bleep out every time the count says the word count and, well, it just sounds so perverse that I couldn't stop laughing. Now Sesame street doesn't even seem right to me...



Moral: I BLEEEEEPPPPP slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster

Keep dancin'

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What about Bob?

The comedic classic featuring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss that still makes my stomach hurt from laughing. Murray is amazing, as he is in every film he's been in, and this isn't up for debate. Dreyfuss is also as good playing a psychiatrist who's taken Murray on as his patient and becomes extremely frustrated as Murray moves into the role of the father figure with his family.

The zany stunts that Murray pulls, the facial expressions and the delivery of his performance are all amazing. His character's transformation in the film is brilliantly pulled off allowing you to really root for him. The man's just an acting genius. How he gets on the bus. How he sails, gets the son to dive.

How can you not enjoy a film where the actor commands control. He's one of the talents that really got me excited about film when I was young and continues to be as even his newer material brings depth to the screen, see Life Aquatic, Royal Tenenbaums, and Lost in Translation...



Moral: Baby steps

Keep dancin'

Monday, October 26, 2009

The vaca has come and gone

And I actually did get a lot accomplished. Missed a few birthday parties but the late night starbucks was much needed. Read through a bunch of papers to help my presentation come along. There is nothing like a social environment's ambient noise and caffeine to get me in the mood to do work.

It's how I click. A quick hello, see someone you know, hey what's up etc etc, what are you up to, things going well, great great, well see you later - and you're back to the grind stone. It's a much more enjoyable study session than say, sitting in the library with facebook or gchat as you catch up with people through a client.

Once that was all said and done I practiced my presentation in front of my 13 year old cousin, big test for me, keeping a 13 year old's attention for an engineering topic is probably as much fun as them watching paint dry. I'd actually think the paint drying would be more fun. So now I've got my little cousin giggling like a devil burned into my retina since I was being too serious as I tried presenting to him...



Moral: Loosened me up actually - as I go up to present I'll just picture that

Keep dancin'

Friday, October 23, 2009

Make it happen

Or not. It's been an entire day and I keep reading and reading this 82 slide presentation over and I have definitely put a dent in where I was last year but I still don't feel confident. Last year my presentation was supposed to be an hour and 15 minutes long and I was done presenting the material in 45 minutes.

Yeah I know, I went fast, but I just threw all the material out there. I hadn't prepared for it like a presentation, I had prepared for it like it was an exam. And I ace exams people! ACE THEM! And fast. I hated sitting in tests so I would run through the material one time and hand it in. Confident when the teacher would ask me how I did, I'd tell him that I just gave him the answer sheet. And for the most part I would, barring a minor error here and there.

But talking to people for an hour without break is difficult. I'm more ready for it this year than I was last year because I've never sat in front of people talking to them for an hour without break. Well, I have now that I had given the presentation once last year, but you knew what I meant. So, I keep starting out into my living room like it is an auditorium presenting to the imaginary eyes that will be really looking at me come 3 weeks from now. I'll do better this time around.



Moral: Just gotta remember to breath.

Keep dancin'

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Days off!

I have today, tomorrow and Monday off from work. Well, partially. I know, I know, you're asking the question, Sarv, how do you have a day off, partially? And that's really easy. We've been forced by corporate to take days off and I would have been in Vegas any other day at this moment, had it not been for one thing.

The one thing that held me back from rolling red dice at the Wynn with my boy Deynek, well two things, didn't have the coin for it (which erks me) but secondly I have to prepare for an international conference that I will be giving a presentation at a few weeks from now on the west coast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sarv you're jet-setting again; no. Well, yeah, cause I'll also hangout while in the west coast but I am a bit nervous. I gave this talk last year but the last time I gave it, was last year. So i will be staying in the next 3 vacation days I have and practicing my material and delivery...anyone want to hear an hour long talk on Analog Circuitry Failure Analysis?



Moral: Semiconductors failures are fun to analyze :)

Keep dancin'